This is my new life.

Since I have moved down here I have re-evaluated my life. My life consists of work: pulling weeds, helping with the milking, diggin' holes for fence posts,working on my southern accent (trying to not get an accent...but my accent has changed and I DISLIKE IT!), irrigating the pastures and fields, watering the million trees and the garden which never ends, weeding the garden, sunburns, callused hands, wearing mainly T-shirts unless its Sunday, forgetting how to do makeup, learning that my family is important, crying because I miss my friends, laughing because my farmers tan is terrible, giggling because a cowboy just passed by, and most of all, I can absolutely say, I love the farm life and am sure that this is what I was meant for. The biggest store that is closest to my little town of Austin is 15 minutes away in Richfield....WALMART! Today, I cleaned my car. AND YES! LIFE HAS CHANGED FOR ME. I don't have to ask for rides anymore! :) yea!

This is what I do in the mornings before school. This is my deep secret. (:

love this.

This woman.

By the time the Lord made this woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, 'Why are you spending so much time on this one?' And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on 4 hours of sleep and an apple for breakfast, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a smile can cure anything from a bad day to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands.' The angel was astounded at the requirements. 'Only two hands!? No way! That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.' 'But I won't,' the Lord protested. 'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart… She already heals herself by trying to uplift others, AND she never forgets those who love her. The angel moved closer and touched her hands. 'But you have made her so soft, Lord.' 'She is soft,' the Lord agreed, 'but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.' 'Will she be able to think?’ asked the angel. The Lord replied, 'Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to help others around her through their trials with her advice and wisdom.' The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, the angel touched her cheek. 'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.' 'That's not a leak,' the Lord corrected, 'that's a tear!' 'What's the tear for?' the angel asked. The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.' The angel was impressed. 'You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! This woman is truly amazing.' And she is! She has strengths that amaze men. She bears hardships and carries burdens, but she always upholds happiness, love and joy. She smiles when she wants to scream. she sings when she wants to cry. she cries when she is happy and if nervous she changes the feeling for a laugh. She fights for what she believes in. She stands up to injustice. She won't take 'no' for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. She goes without so their family can have. She comforts a frightened friend. She loves unconditionally. She cries when her friend leaves for 3 days, and cheers when she sees her again. She is happy when she hears about a birth or a wedding. Her heart breaks when she is the only one in her family to believe what she does. She grieves at the distance separating her from a loved one, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. She knows that a hug and a smile can heal a broken heart. She has a million clothes which display her unique and cute style. She emails you when she misses you and brings you ice-cream when you are done with surgery. She does this to show you how much she cares about you. The heart of this woman is what makes the world keep turning. She brings joy, hope and love. She has compassion and ideals. She gives moral support to her family and friends. She has vital things to say and everything to give.  HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN THIS WOMAN, IT IS THAT SHE FORGETS HER WORTH.

 

If you haven't noticed.

If you haven't noticed,
the main picture on my blog
is a picture of a dear friend and I.
This friend has taught me that tears
are a sign of strength.
That love is worth
more than money.
That friendship is something
never lost.
That laughing hard can never get to old.
That family is more important than anything in the
whole world.
That it's okay to not try to compete with the so called
"pretty" girls.
It's okay to be yourself.
That it's okay to pick yourself
back up once you've fallen for the millionth time.
That it's okay to make
a fool of yourself, as long as you were trying something new.
That it's fine
if you forgot to do your homework, as long as you remember to remember it
next time.
It's okay to chill-ax every once in a while.
It's okay to break one rule
like going around in the round-about 8 times, as long as you enjoy it while you are
doing it.
That it's okay to live a little.
That it's okay to smell the dandelion's in life because
you never know....they just might smell good.
That's it's important to stop and watch the sun rise as you walk to
school.
That it's okay to notice for the first time that your
best friend will never leave your side.
And that you will never leave hers.

i'm afraid.

My feelings this last while have all been a jumble.
At one moment I want to cry, while at the next...I am laughing.
I want to hang on to every dear moment.
I'm afraid to lose them.
Senior year is going by so fast,
and I'm not sure that I am ready to give it up.
I'm scared for the future, but excited at the same time.
I am afraid that I'll never get married...but who cares...then I guess
I have an excuse to get fat on ice-cream......no really,
I do admit...I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that I will not get to know myself better before jumping
into something that I'm not sure that I even want to do.
I'm afraid that people will not like me and that they won't let me
have a chance to show what I am made of.
I'm afraid that my friends will stop calling.
Or that I will be left all alone in this big world.
I'm afraid that my life my spill over the edge sometimes.
But maybe the true answer to all these feelings are:

it's okay to be afraid....as long as you fix all those fears with faith.

love linda's talent.

Linda...is so talented. Its her that took these beautiful photos!

MY dreams

1.      I want to become part of student body president in college.

2.      I want to make a difference in the lives of those who surround me.

3.      I want to write a book on my life.

4.      I want to be a social worker, one that actually cares about the welfare of children, not just getting paid.

5.      I want to meet someone who not only lifts me off my feet….but keeps me there…..and then marry them in the temple.

6.      I want to never be afraid of who I have become.

7.      I want others to always feel included. I want to be the one to include them……no matter who they are, what they look like, where they’re from, or any mistakes they’ve made.

8.      I have always been interested in photography….but have never been quite sure or had the time to try it out and see if I am good at it….or maybe it’s just because I am jealous of one of my friends…who is talented……or I just want something useful invest my time in.  :]

9.      I want to love to work hard.

10.  I want to always get along with others.

11.  I want to remain a caring person.

12.  I want to be the best….at being Me.

I owe

I owe so much time. I don't know where to start to pay off my debts. I am wasting it.....slowly.....

the challenge.

you may need a magnifying glass to see His love.

Looking for the love of God,

Is not as easy as it is to say.

I decided to challenge myself and look for it each day.

Today,

I remembered to take out the trash. Surely this was by the grace of God because if I had forgotten, I am pretty sure my mom’s voice would be sore from yelling at me…I was spared yet another yelling.

I was reminded how beautiful I am when I looked into a car window. Surely my beauty comes from doing what is right.


Yet again, I am blessed by that reminder.

I told a woman whose face was nearly disoriented, that her smile was beautiful.


Yet again, the love of God was shared through another person.

I felt at peace even though I had a test that I was nearly never close to being prepared for.

Yet again, the love of God calmed my fears.

Last night, I was scared. I was by myself. I was worried.

 Yet again, the love of God calmed my troubled soul.

Yesterday, at the temple, I was reminded that the Holy Ghost cannot give us answers to big “concerns”, like if we should marry someone, if we cannot give heed and follow the council of the Holy Ghost even when the matter seems almost “insignificant”. Practice makes perfect.

Yet again, I was chastised by the Lord………but in way that I remembered He still loves me.

I was walking, and I remembered I have a beautiful friend whom I did not get to see today.

Yet again, I was reminded how lucky I am to have her………..

Yet again…….there is so much love expressed but hidden………we just have to find it to feel the blessings of His love.

Not all the time is life a picnic of abundant sunshine.

A friend once told me to hang on to my panties...and I think I finally understand why.

Life is hard, and when it gets that way, sometimes we turn to things like blogging. Today, or rather, the past long time, I have been trying way too hard. I am tired of trying to impress people when nothing is going to come of it. I am tired of homework and "to-do" lists. I am tired of high school and the drama. I am tired of having crushes on boys and then nothing happening. I am tired of realizing that I have fallen again, only to feel like there is no way back up. I am tired of disappointment, why won't he leave me alone? I am tired of feeling like I am never going to get anywhere in life. I am tired of feeling like a loser because I cannot hang out. I am tired of feeling left out. I am tired of feeling weakness when everyone around me seems so strong. I am tired of math. I am tired of trying to catch up with my mistakes. I am tired of me. I am tired of being tired.

I'm tired of making myself fit other peoples' ideals.

But then, there is that ray of sunshine.

A friend. The one who has been there from the start. The one who knows all my pains, struggles, losses, fears, doubts, brokenness, and hopelessness. Why did I not turn to Him before? Especially since He has more to offer than I know or can even comprehend. I have decided to live my life for Him. Live it...for Him. Live it to become the best He knows that I can become, if I only let Him guide me. Something that I learned in seminary today was a tactic that Satan uses to make girls feel bad and depressed. It was very interesting. So, when you feel like this one boy has been paying a lot of attention to you and you feel like he is THE one, Satan uses these feelings to make you think that if this guy does not end up "liking" you or asking you out or whatever that all hope is lost and that there is not another man that will come your way. But that is so false. There is someone even BETTER...in the near distant future, and so that is why Satan tries so hard to distract you into thinking that there is no one else. Have you ever wondered why God has not let you see whom you will marry right now? It’s because if you did know who it was...then you would never date those "other" guys and learn experience so that you could FIND  the one by knowing what you WANT in a man. God knows you and me separately, individually, yet collectively known as His children. He will lead us to our only one. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows who will be the best for us and so He will lead us to that person...if we let Him. Only if we simply let Him.

I think I can dance now.

Life=sunshine

Life, as fragile as we should know it.

                                                                                

As the days go by, I realize how lucky I am to live. Not many get that opportunity; so why then do I complain about my life not being perfect, especially when there are so many who never get the chance to fully live theirs? Be grateful...for your trials...for they not only build your character...but they build your life.